just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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