yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize