Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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