I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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