hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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