look no pants
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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