She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
