Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
