fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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