he puts the penis in happiness.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
no you cant smoke seaweed
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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