Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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