they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
