Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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