I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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