I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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