Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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