At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
