Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize