I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
