Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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