I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
His nipple licking is glorious
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