I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize