Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i just google imaged poop.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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