I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
