grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
