Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
