my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
