If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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