Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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