He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
