Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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