Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
