My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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