Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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