This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
