im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
