I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
