YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
