Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
