It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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