this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
