12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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