So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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