She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize