Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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