he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
