i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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