There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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