oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he shaved USA in his pubs
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
