You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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