using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
