So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
