im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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