Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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