if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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