Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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