everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
