Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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