What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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