In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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