This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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