Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
