Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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