hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize