For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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