Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
