So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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