chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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