i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
