i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
