We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My dick has a subreddit
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
