When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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