Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
