so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
