bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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