Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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