No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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