plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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