Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
