she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
