Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The police scanner is talking about you again....
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
