Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
