I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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