Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
