i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
