You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
